In Case of Fire...

In case of fire, please either jump in the hotel safe with all your friends, or dance on the staircase that has fire under it so you can pretend you are in a "new" ancient tribe that walks on hot stairs instead of coals. 

Father's Day Smiley

Yes, of course we went to Outback Steakhouse for Father's Day. Like there's anywhere else to go. Anyhoo, this beaut showed up after I got up from my nap later in the day. Very happy I think. 

Sleeping Sack Ghost

Captain's log: Stardate-17 June 2006. Planet-Local convenience store. >I bought a Diet Coke and some Chex Mix for me, and a honey bun for Ian. As I stretched my hand across the counter to pass the money to the lady, I noticed this little guy snoring. I was careful to think of what I might do next. 1. Take a picture without asking, and cause the lady to think I might be casing the joint... OR, 2. reveal to the lady that I had a light obsessive compulsive disorder which included the small niche of taking pictures of non-humans taking the form of a face... OR, 3. dismiss the pink elephant with the mindpower of a Jedi. You can logically eliminate option three since you are looking at the picture. Number one didn't seem like the thing to do, particularly since I don't photograph well on surveillance cameras. So, yeah. It went like "Um, you might think this is weird, but..." she raises her eyebrow, "I have a website..." I wasn't sure if she'd know what a blog is, "where I post pictures of things that look like they have a face." Pause for a 1/2 second breath that seemed like the amount of time it takes Cingular to answer a question about your bill. I point to it... "and that right there has a face."Such a blank stare was derived from my statements that now the convenience store lady herself seemed not to have a face. I'm pretty sure all the blood from her face rushed to her butt. Even so, she uttered a searingly analystic up-on-the-2nd-syllable "uh huhhHH." I could nearly put a question mark there, but she wasn't asking - or wanting an answer. Me: "Umm, so-o-o-o-o... do you mind if I take a picture of it?" Lady as if I had cat's eye marbles in my nose: "Suuuure. You can actually take it with you." And she pushes it on the counter toward me.I'm telling you this so you can appreciate the fine work posted herein and get a firm grip on the day-to-day aspects of such an illogical hobby. You're welcome. 

Wet Floor vs. Body Parts

CAUTION: If you slip, your neck will become invisible.

CAUTION: If you slip, your head, hands and feet will become detached. 

Pot Party

They were so busted when I happened upon them. This one in particular was very surprised.


Maybe this one was already paranoid, but he became very afraid of what might happen next.

Okay this guy just got all small-eyed and throwy-uppy.

But then there were a bunch of little ones that I guess were in the midst of ultra-happy and coasted straight into perma-grin.
 

Popeye the Smoothie OR Smoothie Will Drink Itself

This smoothie had two eyes for a delicious 3 seconds whilst I reached for my camera, and then Gracie bumped my arm and the eye on the right popped. You can still see the outline of it on the cup. Maybe it was the deliciosity that popped the smoothie's eye, because he actually appears to be drinking himself. 

homeland security he he camera

Look. I'm walking toward the checkout, and I'm finished shopping when this bright orange package jumps out at me. Good packaging, because I almost thought it was a real product. Maybe it is, but I'm pretty sure the Homeland Security division of the United States Federal Government doesn't sell cut-rate surveillance cams at the Walmarks. 

Princess Oh No

Looking at this, you know it was a premeditated face. It had to be, because it fits with the crown. Also good to be aware that Princess Oh No will nab the straw to your Sonic drink and begin chuggage.
 

apathetic speaker party

The really great thing is not that they're having a party and remaining quite dull, but look at the snaky red beard on this guy. Sweet! 

Jetsons Maid Corkscrew

Rosie has rein-robo-nated as my corkscrew. 

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

I decided to do Taco Bueno for Cinco de Mayo on Friday. I had the menu at my desk, so I wrote on a posty note what I wanted before I left the office. Chicken Tacquitos, Nachos with Queso, Cinnamon Chips, and a Large Diet Coke (like the Diet Coke would make a big difference). I land it on my desk for the lunch munch and this Mexican Robot appears. 

And then it hits you

You've seen a lot of faces everywhere - on trucks and houses and food - but none of them really satisfy you. And then one day, you're riding to a wedding with people and you're just hanging in the back seat of their van, and... ahhhhhHHH. A big comfy smile like the cool side of the pillow. Like the dryer vent in December. Like puppies in slow motion.

Ian had a pc story book...

... and there was a character in the story that sang,
"I'm a beeea-verrr, and I rap!
And I wear a baseball cap!"

face like a truck

A mosquito or a fly maybe. Mosquitos are only this big in Florida, right? Wait! Round glasses... I think it's a Beatle!

yOu WiLL aSsImiLatE

So I'm driving along the Interstate, and suddenly my XM flips to techno and the a/c cranks up to Frosty Goodness.
I did not "WANT TO PLAY A GAME" so I began to Google around my auto for the hack.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear (or wondering, is it?)
but a double-head-flapped robo boss with a vengeance my dear.
It threatened to blind me with one bulb or two,
but I scoffed and taunted "not enough wattage have you!"
The thing then pelted me with ink pens and sunglasses
while shaking my SUV from engine to chassis.
I made the next exit and stomped through my brake
No flack from any cousin of Herbie would I take.
Hostility considered, I offered a shot
of Armor-All and you know what
It blinked twice, asked for ice and confessed
it really just wanted to be friends it guessed.

Jack N Coke

Samurai Jack! What are you doing in my Diet Coke? I figured you for a sugar hound. A naturalist! 

I find your lack of face disturbing

Impressive. Most impressive. But you are not a french fry yet. * JHUN! JHUN! JHUN! JHON-JA JHUN, JHON-JA JHUN!!! *

Ian put this cable holder thingy on the entertainment center door, and it immediately started singing Shattered. "Sha-doobie, my brain's been battered" and then later on, it said "Don't you know the crime rate's going up! up! up! up! UPP!!!!!"

Here's another hap'nin stick people sig

Here's another stick people sign. Hey, no parking on the dance floor, man. Nice robot, though.

See my comic site. Here's an example...

Shketches: can't find it?

google08a91bea805b629a.html

Poor lonely red sign board. He tries to smile but his mouth won't nearly turn up enough. He needs a friend. I'll just go to www.hookups4signboards.com and find someone for him... Oh! An answer already!
 

The night table grins sheepishly for being photographed without having dusted the lamp.

Can you see this one? It's in the wood at the bottom of the picture. There's a smiley face, but not a smiley or frowny. It's like a... uh... indifferenty face. Apparently when they changed the elevator controls whenever wayback, the wall couldn't have cared less, and still doesn't.

"I nearly,
[strum strum strum strum]
I nearly lost youuuuu..."

That's the only song I can remember, because boys and girls, that's all they had. So from the Where Are They Now files, now you know that after their brief musical career peak in the early 90s, the Screaming Trees ended up in the wooded portion of my office parking lot.

Thank you for eating Styrobox. We know you have a choice. Keep track of your onion miles and earn a free straw. 

Jolly good, mate, I just returned from the dentist. He says me alignment's the best of his patients in all of England. 

Hey.

Hey.


Hey you! Banana nose stove!


Hey, yeah. I like the bling in your mouth, but ya got knobby knees.
And eyes.
Knobby, knobby, handle-y eyes.